Tag Archives: Keep It Queer

keep it queer

Keep It Queer is an original feature on my blog where I talk about being queer and all the various things this has meant to me over the years. Sometimes this will also involve me babbling about LGBTQ books. It’s also a chance for others to share their stories.

So, I got a haircut a couple weeks ago, and getting a haircut always feels like a huge deal to me, partly because one time, while I was getting a haircut, I honestly felt like I was being interrogated by my hairdresser about whether I was a lesbian, and it felt so uncomfortable that I wanted to crawl under the chair and disappear forever.

So, understandably, this has made me nervous about getting haircuts since. And honestly, I've had so many comments over the years from hairdressers about how I shouldn't get my hair cut too short because then I "will look like a boy" or something similar. I'm sick of it.

Haircuts are so complicated because for lots of queer people, I imagine, haircuts don't hold much significance. But for many other queer people, haircuts can be a big deal. Check out allll the posts that Autostraddle has under their "alternative lifestyle haircut" tag, for example! Certain haircuts can be a great way for queer people to express their queerness and to recognise other queer people.

I like getting my hair cut short. And yes, for me personally this has something to do with me being queer: I feel like it's part of my queer aesthetic, just like the plaid shirts I like to wear a lot. But I also just plain like having short hair. It's a lot easier to deal with, and I feel like I look a lot better with short hair than with long hair. I had long hair when I was younger and I didn't like it. I just feel much more comfortable, much more myself with short hair. And honestly, I just get a short pixie cut. It's not even that queer, and yet!

Back in November last year, Open Barbers came and did a pop-up in Oxford for Queer Week. Open Barbers describe themselves as "queer friendly hairdressing for all lengths, genders, and sexualities" (websiteTumblr | Facebook | Twitter). They're based in London, and if you're in or around London and you're queer and/or have had some bad experiences getting your hair cut elsewhere, I would really suggest giving them a try! They're super affordable as well. I'm really glad I managed to get my hair cut with them; they were so supportive and tried my best to make me feel at ease even though I was super nervous (especially getting my hair cut in England for the first time).

So anyway, this time, I just went and got a haircut in the cheapest place I could find in Oxford, and it was actually a fairly good experience – my hair was cut the way I wanted it to, without much judgement or the person telling me: "isn't that a bit short?" In fact, the woman who cut my hair was like, "I used to love getting short haircuts when I was younger!" Buuuuut she also said, during one part of the haircut, "Don't worry, it won't be like a boy's!" Which made me wince.

Honestly, the process of getting a haircut is still such a gendered thing, and I absolutely hate it. I don't want to hear about how something is for boys rather than girls. When I complain about how women's haircuts are more expensive than men's, I sometimes hear people saying to me, jokingly perhaps, that I should just try going to a barber's. But I've definitely heard stories of people who have been rejected from barber shops for "not being men". And it sucks, because there are obviously a lot of people with non-binary, fluid, complicated gender identities, with gender identities that might not match how they present themselves, and the strict binary gender divine that most hairdressers/barbers seem to operate on is outdated and doesn't work for a lot of people. It leaves a lot of people feeling uncomfortable and excluded.

All these assumptions that straight, cis people make about haircuts need to go. I, as a queer girl, may feel like having a short haircut enhances my queer aesthetic, and I, as a queer girl, may look at other girls and hope that they're queer based on the length and/or style of their hair, but that doesn't mean that people who aren't queer and who are cutting my hair have a right to assume anything about me and further, to go as far as to make comments about it and to question me and my choices.

I don't feel like I see queer girls (or queer characters in general) in YA talk about haircuts all that much, and I'd like to. I'd like to see characters in YA challenge traditional thinking about haircuts!

Have you had any interesting/terrible experiences with getting your hair cut? Is the way your hair looks important to your queer identity? Have you ever read a queer character in YA who actually cared about their hair a lot?

keep it queer

Keep It Queer is an original, biweekly feature on my blog where I talk about being queer and all the various things this has meant to me over the years. Sometimes this will also involve me babbling about LGBTQ books. It’s also a chance for others to share their stories.

Since it's Contemporary Conversations this month, I thought I might choose a quite contemporary topic! THE INTERNET. Now, what does the Internet have to do with being queer? I think these days, it has everything to do with it, and I wish more LGBTQ YA contemporary books would reflect that!

I practically grew up on the Internet. From around the age of 9 or 10 I was already on the Internet, with a personal blog, talking to strangers. Now I knew this was something I shouldn't do, but it was fun, and I was always sensible. I grew up in a household where nobody really talked about gay people, and I didn't know any either, so I didn't actually even realise that gay people existed, that it was possible to like someone of the same gender as you, until I discovered fanfiction on the Internet at the age of 11.

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keep it queer

Keep It Queer is an original, biweekly feature on my blog where I talk about being queer and all the various things this has meant to me over the years. Sometimes this will also involve me babbling about LGBTQ books. It’s also a chance for others to share their stories.

February is LGBTQ History Month in the UK! So I thought I'd make this month's Keep It Queer posts all about books and movies that deal with LGBTQ history.

The Line of Beauty The Stranger's Child

I'm going to take this opportunity to recommend Alan Hollinghurst, one of my favourite authors ever. I've only read two of his books, The Line of Beauty and The Stranger's Child, but I adored both of them. He writes adult books and they're quite literary, but if you're the type of person who likes slow, beautifully written books with keen human insight, you'll probably love these books as much as I do. The Line of Beauty is set in the 1980s as many books about LGBTQ history tend to, because of the AIDS crisis, but The Stranger's Child is far more sprawling and goes from the 1910s up to the modern day.

miseducation two boys kissing

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keep it queer

Keep It Queer is an original, biweekly feature on my blog where I talk about being queer and all the various things this has meant to me over the years. Sometimes this will also involve me babbling about LGBTQ books. It’s also a chance for others to share their stories.

People talk about coming out as though it’s this big one-time event. But really, most people have to come out over and over basically to every new person they meet. I’m only eighteen and already it exhausts me.

The other day I read Laurel's review for Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour on her blog, Rainbow Reading, and she reminded me of this quote I love from the book. It's a gorgeous quote because it's so true. I remembered a few years ago, reading a blog post written by a person who was in her thirties, about exactly this. About the fact that coming out isn't a one-time thing, but it's something you do over and over again in your life.

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keep it queer

Keep It Queer is an original, biweekly feature on my blog where I talk about being queer and all the various things this has meant to me over the years. Sometimes this will also involve me babbling about LGBTQ books. It’s also a chance for others to share their stories.

So, as I've said before, I'm bisexual. But I've only ever dated one person in my whole life, and that's my current boyfriend. I've never even kissed a girl. But I've known since I was about 12 that I was bisexual.

Bisexual characters are still somewhat of a rare sight in books, but there's been quite a few YA books with bisexual characters in the past couple of years. In 2014, I read Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew SmithCoda by Emma Trevayne, Far From You by Tess SharpeAdaptation by Malinda LoPantomime by Laura LamOtherbound by Corinne Duyvis. And I enjoyed all of them. I'm grateful for the existence of these books. I'm so glad we are getting more representation, with bisexual characters in books that aren't completely centred on their sexuality. In fact, all of these books have pretty complex and cool plots.

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